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How could everything change so dramatically?

I subscribed free online marriage counselling & this is what I got this morning:

“The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but we must live with a character.”
– Peter Devries

We can only appreciate the profundity of this statement if we understand what is meant by CHARACTER.

“Personality” is easy to understand. Your “personality” is how people experience you. It’s your public persona.

But what is “character?” And why is “character” so crucial in your marriage?

Character is who you are when no one is watching.

You see, when you and your spouse met, you met each other’s PERSONALITIES. You showed your spouse and you were shown by your spouse your public personas. I’m not saying you tricked each other. It’s just your personality; how you display yourself to others.

But marriage lasts too long in too close quarters for anyone to sustain a public persona. Personalities eventually give way to an INNER SELF that gets revealed for the first time. And there you each stand, naked as if no one is watching. But someone is watching. And that’s when you meet for the first time…again!

You and your spouse don’t meet the person who charmed each other’s friends, bought gifts for each other’s parents, and always smiled from ear to ear. No, this time it’s a meeting of your CHARACTERS. In many cases, it’s not only that you’re meeting each other for the first time, but it’s that you’re meeting YOURSELVES for the first time.

Most people wouldn’t be caught dead treating anyone the way they treat their spouse. Most people don’t recognize their own behavior. “I’m just not myself with him/her.” Well then who is

that person? that’s YOU…it’s your character. (And your spouse meets their character.)

The reason so many people fail at marriage and an attempt at marriage renewal is NOT that they don’t like their spouse. It’s that they don’t like THEMSELVES. And while everyone else in their life is like a mirror reflecting their personality; their spouse is a mirror reflecting their character. And most people don’t like what they see.

Many people would rather choose to be with someone else than remain with their spouse and have to continue to be with themselves. (Did you get that?)

Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century manual on success, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as follows: “You are as much a real person as you are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the interior is twice as important as the surface. There are people who are all facade, like a house
left unfinished when the funds run out. They have the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a cottage.”

Marriage renewal and individual character development go hand-in-hand.

Mort Fertel
Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness

Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation

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This entry was posted on 21/07/2009 by in pernikahan dan pra nikah and tagged , .

Ranah Rana

Body Talk workshop. Further info please contact @drhrani :* So why some vets offer HUMAN birth control injection to cats? well many reasons I can't mention in social media of course. duuuhhh.

Is it safe? apakah aman? seminggu sekali saya selalu terima whatsapp org yang panik tanya apakah bisa steril kucingny pyometra segera. Begitu dari lubang vagina keluar cairan putih nanah, kejaran waktu dimulai antara : mendapatkan dokter hewan yang siap untuk tindakan operasi dan DANA. Kl pecah? ya RIP. sederhana. 
Lanjutkan suntik KB nya! lanjutkan sayang. Nangis2nya nanti ke dokter hewan yang suntikin ya. bukan ke saya.

#Repost @rumahsteril with @repostapp
・・・
Bulatan putih ini nanah yang kl sampai pecah berbahaya untuk kucingnya. 
Selain karena suntik KB, pyometra bisa terjadi karena beberapa sebab lainnya. #infosteril The main problem among Indonesian cat lovers: they can't afford neuter / spay fee. Even when they ask how much is it cost in Rumah Steril (±US$ 30), they still complaining the price is expensive. 
So what happen next? some vets in Indonesia offer human birth control injection. it is cheap with consequences. Pyometra for example. 
I do not mind. Feel free to keep doing it. not my cats anyway.

#Repost @rumahsteril with @repostapp
・・・
Belajar Yuk!
Ovarium yang sehat ada di kiri.
Ovarium yang tengah ada kista (bening jd memang susah keliatan sih).
Ovarium yang kanan penuh nanah. LANJUTKAN SUNTIK KB NYA. lanjutkannn.... #infosteril I don't know about other country, but in Indonesia, it is cheaper to bring your cat in food container like this instead of pet cargo. We call it 'rio basket' because you can find RIO sticker on it.

It can be found in pet shop or grocery store like this :) utk yang baru pakai instagram, begini cara mencari info steril. Masukkan tanda pagar (#) lalu kata kunci 'infosteril' seperti contoh di samping.

Kamu bisa menemukan banyak informasi steril di berbagai kota. Ada yang rutin seperti Steril Yuk di Bekasi, Steril di Jogja, Surabaya dan kami sendiri Rumah Steril di Depok.

Kalau sebuah kota tidak bisa rutin steril, maklumilah. Ingat:
1. dokter hewan tidak sebanyak rumah makan padang di kota kamu

2. tidak semua dokter hewan setuju dengan steril murah.

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