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Criticizing VS Complaining

I got this from my favourite website. Inspiring.. I, myself, need to practice to be a better partner :

complaining without criticizing. It’s perfectly normal for couples to have legitimate complaints from time to time, but the way in which these complaints are expressed is critical to the success or failure of a relationship. According to Gottman, partners who are able to express their needs without criticizing each other’s character or personality are more likely to have happier and healthier relationships.

So what’s the difference between a complaint and a criticism?

1) Complaints focus on the present whereas criticisms wallow in the past.

2) Complaints focus on your partner’s actions and how those actions make you feel whereas criticisms attack your partner’s personality or character.

3) Complaints are specific, case-specific, and use “I feel” or “I think” often whereas criticisms are vague, use “always” or “never” a lot, and often require your partner to guess what you’re thinking or feeling.

Example:

Criticism: You’re the most selfish, self-centered person I’ve ever met. You stood me up for lunch so you could help John close his deal? You’re always bailing him out. Don’t you think you work enough? You love John and your job more than you love me!

Complaint: We had this lunch planned for weeks, and I’m upset that you canceled it at the last minute to help John handle something that I think he should have been able to handle on his own. It makes me feel like you care more about John and your job than you care about me.

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Ranah Rana

Body Talk workshop. Further info please contact @drhrani :* So why some vets offer HUMAN birth control injection to cats? well many reasons I can't mention in social media of course. duuuhhh.

Is it safe? apakah aman? seminggu sekali saya selalu terima whatsapp org yang panik tanya apakah bisa steril kucingny pyometra segera. Begitu dari lubang vagina keluar cairan putih nanah, kejaran waktu dimulai antara : mendapatkan dokter hewan yang siap untuk tindakan operasi dan DANA. Kl pecah? ya RIP. sederhana. 
Lanjutkan suntik KB nya! lanjutkan sayang. Nangis2nya nanti ke dokter hewan yang suntikin ya. bukan ke saya.

#Repost @rumahsteril with @repostapp
・・・
Bulatan putih ini nanah yang kl sampai pecah berbahaya untuk kucingnya. 
Selain karena suntik KB, pyometra bisa terjadi karena beberapa sebab lainnya. #infosteril The main problem among Indonesian cat lovers: they can't afford neuter / spay fee. Even when they ask how much is it cost in Rumah Steril (±US$ 30), they still complaining the price is expensive. 
So what happen next? some vets in Indonesia offer human birth control injection. it is cheap with consequences. Pyometra for example. 
I do not mind. Feel free to keep doing it. not my cats anyway.

#Repost @rumahsteril with @repostapp
・・・
Belajar Yuk!
Ovarium yang sehat ada di kiri.
Ovarium yang tengah ada kista (bening jd memang susah keliatan sih).
Ovarium yang kanan penuh nanah. LANJUTKAN SUNTIK KB NYA. lanjutkannn.... #infosteril I don't know about other country, but in Indonesia, it is cheaper to bring your cat in food container like this instead of pet cargo. We call it 'rio basket' because you can find RIO sticker on it.

It can be found in pet shop or grocery store like this :) utk yang baru pakai instagram, begini cara mencari info steril. Masukkan tanda pagar (#) lalu kata kunci 'infosteril' seperti contoh di samping.

Kamu bisa menemukan banyak informasi steril di berbagai kota. Ada yang rutin seperti Steril Yuk di Bekasi, Steril di Jogja, Surabaya dan kami sendiri Rumah Steril di Depok.

Kalau sebuah kota tidak bisa rutin steril, maklumilah. Ingat:
1. dokter hewan tidak sebanyak rumah makan padang di kota kamu

2. tidak semua dokter hewan setuju dengan steril murah.

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